Today, I am going to list for you my "Just for today" meditations. Please note that this is in no way belittling the 12 Step program or the big book. Just for today I am going to laugh at myself before anyone else has a chance.
Just for today....
...I will look down when I'm walking to avoid stepping on legos, matchbox cars and broken gum ball machine bubbles. This will also aid in a lack of stubbed toes.
...I will tone down my awesomeness as to not make others jealous. I realize how hard it is for them and will try my best to make it easier.
...I will not reflect on the effects of gravity.
...I will shun narcissism and only look in the mirror 3 times (ok, maybe 4, but that's it.)
...I will not take so much joy in killing ants. They are creatures too even if they are little pests.
...I will do my Yoga workout (if it's under 70 degrees in the house and there's time).
...I will unhide all of the people whose statuses I have hidden on Facebook because they annoy me for exactly one hour. It's not my fault if I have to log off afterward.
...I will try not to be such a grammar Nazi. I may even force myself to misspell something. Maybe.
...I will not throw away an ink pen just because it skipped once. I can not be responsible if it skips twice.
...I will not suggest ice cream for breakfast out loud. I'll just think it.
...I will not be sarcastic more than twice.
...I will not roll my eyes more than twice.
...I will suppress the urge to curse when I step on a toy because I forgot to look down when I was walking.
...I will not threaten to "throw it out the door and run over it with the truck" if something isn't working right.
...I will forgive myself instantly for forgetting any of these throughout the day. After all, these are my meditations...no one has to know.
I am infinitely happy that these are meant for only one per day. If I had to put so much conscious effort into a day to do all of these things, I think I would end up in the fetal position crying by the day's end. Especially throwing in the awesomeness one. That one's going to be exceptionally hard to live up to anyway.
Once again, these are not meant to put down the steps or the Big Book. It's all in good fun, I assure you. Don't take yourself so seriously. ;)